Next Contestant
by readbetweenthesigns
Summary: Puck's return from juvie could have gone like this...and in my own little version of Glee, it did! Beth, Quinn and Puck are a family. T rating for possible future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership of Glee or Nickelback (although I have in my possession two tickets to see Nickelback in Sheffield UK on October 7****th**** - I genuinely do own them, woohoo - a little bit excited for that, can you tell?)**

**A/N: This is the song that should have heralded Puck's return from juvie, if the writers had any 'Quick' in them at all, they would have got back together rather than not talking for a full season. In this bit of my imaginary Glee, Quicketh is here for the long haul.**

**"****Next Contestant****"**

"Good afternoon guys, I'd like to welcome back Mr Puckerman, I hope you've learned a hard lesson there?" Mr Shuester said looking over the glasses perched on the end of his nose.

"I have Mr Schue, I'm _never_ going back there, I'm not leaving Quinn and Beth again. _Ever._" He looked round at his classmates. "I know you were all here for them, thank you" he nodded at his friends looking round as he acknowledged each of them. "I wasn't too happy about one thing though, the duet competition and I have a song ready, can I sing it Mr Schue?"

"Errr, yeah, go ahead Puck" replied the teacher.

Quinn looked curious as he picked up his electric guitar. He nodded at the band then they all started playing.

"_I judge by what she's wearing  
Just how many heads I'm tearing  
Off of assholes coming on to her_"

Puck stared straight at Sam, his eyes hard, real meaning behind the lyrics.

"_Each night seems like it's getting worse  
And I wish she'd take the night off  
So I don't have to fight off  
Every asshole coming on to her  
It happens every night she works  
They'll go and ask the DJ  
Find out just what would she say  
If they all tried coming on to her  
Don't they know it's never going to work  
They think they'll get inside her  
With every drink they buy her  
As they all try coming on to her  
This time somebody's getting hurt_

_Here comes the next contestant_

_Is that your hand on my girlfriend?  
Is that your hand?  
I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping  
I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping_

_There goes the next contestant_

_I even fear the ladies_"

He winked at Santana, who laughed back.

"_They're cool but twice as crazy  
Just as bad for coming on to her  
Don't they know it's never going to work  
Each time she bats an eyelash  
Somebody's grabbing her ass  
Everyone keeps coming on to her  
This time somebody's getting hurt_

Here comes the next contestant

_Is that your hand on my girlfriend?  
Is that your hand?  
I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping  
I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping_

_There goes the next contestant_

_I'm hating what she's wearing  
Everybody here keeps staring  
Can't wait 'til they get what they deserve  
This time somebody's getting hurt_

_Here comes the next contestant_

_Is that your hand on my girlfriend?  
Is that your hand?  
I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping  
I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping_

_There goes the next contestant_

_I wish you'd do it again  
Each night seems like its getting worse  
I wish you'd do it again  
This time somebody's getting hurt"_

Puck walked right up to Sam who was sat in the front row and looked down at him, making sure he understood,

"_There goes the next contestant_"

"Jeez, Puckerman, I get it, Quinn is taken, but all we did was sing a song together" Sam hurriedly explained when the song ended, holding his hands up in surrender.

"Sam, you douche bag, you tried to kiss her! Did you think she wouldn't tell me? We tell each other everything, it's called being in a committed relationship, we have a daughter together, we live together, yeah we're only 17 but this is it for us. Now do you get it?" Puck spelt it out, his hand out stretched to Quinn. Quinn left her seat and came to his side, hugging his hand in both of hers, pressing her body up against his arm, Puck bent a little and kissed her quickly.

"Ok, that's settled then?" asked Mr Shue, eyebrow raised. At their nods he continued. "Good job there Puck. Can we discuss sectionals now? I have the list here. We are up against The Hipsters, a choir comprised of elderly people getting their GED and The Warblers, an all boy a cappella group from Dalton Academy"

"We need something spectacular this year Mr Shue" gushed Rachel, rushing to stand at the front of the class. "And I know just the song for Finn and I to sing"

"No Rachel, you aren't automatically getting a solo or a duet this time. I'm holding open auditions for the solo and the duet" Mr Schuester announced. "Do your best, I want you to go all out, costumes, choreography, we'll choose the best. Ok?"

**A/N: I think this might possibly become a multi chapter Nickelback tribute, let's wait and see…..**


	2. Chapter 2 How You Remind Me

**Disclaimer: Usual denial of any affiliation with either Glee, Nickelback, or the song.**

**A/N: In this chapter after Puck behaved like a complete asshole Quinn decides to move back to her mother's taking Beth with her….**

**"****How You Remind Me****"**

The only time he saw her lately was in Glee. Even when he went to pick up Beth from her house she didn't come to the door. Beth was handed over by Judy and, seriously, he could live without the disapproving stare from her! Damn, you'd think he'd committed murder or something. "_Yeah_" he admitted to himself "_I fucked up. When I went out to buy diapers I shouldn't have let those asshole losers push me into buying beer and disappearing for two days, but I can't have those shit stick hockey jocks thinking I'm pussy whipped_" Puck sat alone in the choir room waiting for the rest of the guys to finish classes and come in. Puck had no idea what class he was supposed to be in, he couldn't keep his schedule straight in his head. He knew Glee was meeting after school today so that was a start. He thought about the atmosphere at home. Even his mother and his sister were giving him the silent treatment, accusing stares replaced the usual meal time chatter. "_Yep, all my fault_" he thought bitterly. "_Global warming, famine in Africa, war in the Middle East, mmhm, that's my fault too!_"

The next person through the door was Mr Schue. He didn't see Puck at first, sat at the back of the class leaning back in his chair, staring at the ceiling. "Hey Mr Schue" said Puck in a flat voice.

"Jesus!" Mr Schue jumped and spilled his coffee down his vest. "Puck! I didn't see you there, I didn't know anyone was here" he said, wiping the spillage away with his hand.

"It's just me, yep. Lonely old me, no one else here" Puck's voice was quiet, full of self pity.

"I know things aren't good between you and Quinn right now Puck, but do you think missing class is the best thing for you to be doing?" asked the teacher, concern in his voice.

"Quinn always kept my classes straight for me, I don't know where I'm supposed to be, what I'm supposed to be doing….I don't want to be without her or Beth. I love them both so much Mr Schue" his voice cracked, close to tears. "How can I make her understand that?"

"Well, this is Glee Club, how about telling her in song?" asked the teacher trying to be helpful.

"I could but I can't think of any song that won't sound too soppy, make me cry or make her run the other way at 100 miles an hour"

"Well, you always do really well with rock songs, you did that Nickelback one when you came back from juvie to tell Sam to back off, isn't there one that can say you're sorry?" Mr Schue suggested.

"Really, I think we both have a lot to say sorry for, it's not just me that constantly fucks up - sorry Mr Schue, I mean messes up, I mean Quinn does equally stupid stuff but I never let it bother me that much. Like when she went to the shopping mall with Mercedes and Kurt and forgot that she had Beth with her and left her in the food court. Did I leave her for that? No. Life's not all a bunch of cherries living with her either. The mood swings, the hormones," he rolled his eyes and shook his head, "sometimes it's been like living with Jekyll and Hyde but did I quit? No, did I run away at the first major fall out? No! _She_ did. She's not quite the angel everyone thinks she is" Puck finished on a scowl, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Ok, no one's perfect, find a song that says you're both in the wrong and sing it to her" Mr Schue advised "Today, if you can, I need my team in harmony" he added under his breath.

Puck sat back down and pulled out his ipod, sticking the buds in his ears he searched through his play list and found a song he thought might work. "Got one Mr Schue" he smiled.

The band arrived before his team mates, so Puck had a quick chat with them. When everyone arrived he was stood at the front of the class, guitar at the ready. Once everyone was seated, Quinn looked anywhere but at him, her features showing her displeasure with him even being in the same room as her.

"Hey, guys, this is for Quinn, I know that we haven't been speaking so much lately" he said as she muttered "Understate, much?". "But I really feel that we both have faults and this is my song for today. Ready?" he asked the band, they nodded and started playing.

"_Never made it as a wise man  
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing  
Tired of living like a blind man  
I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling  
And this is how you remind me  
This is how you remind me  
Of what I really am  
This is how you remind me  
Of what I really am_

_It's not like you to say sorry  
I was waiting on a different story  
This time I'm mistaken  
for handing you a heart worth breaking  
and I've been wrong,  
I've been down,  
been to the bottom of every bottle  
these five words in my head  
scream "are we having fun yet?"_

yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no  
yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no

_it's not like you didn't know that  
I said I love you and I swear I still do  
And it must have been so bad  
Cause living with me must have damn near killed you_

And this is how, you remind me  
Of what I really am  
This is how, you remind me  
Of what I really am

It's not like you to say sorry  
I was waiting on a different story  
This time I'm mistaken  
for handing you a heart worth breaking  
and I've been wrong,  
I've been down,  
been to the bottom of every bottle  
these five words in my head  
scream "are we having fun yet?"

_yet, yet, yet, no, no  
yet, yet, yet, no, no  
yet, yet, yet, no, no  
yet, yet, yet, no, no_

Never made it as a wise man  
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing  
And this is how you remind me  
This is how you remind meT  
his is how you remind me  
Of what I really am  
This is how you remind me  
Of what I really am

It's not like you to say sorry  
I was waiting on a different story  
This time I'm mistaken  
for handing you a heart worth breaking  
and I've been wrong,  
I've been down,  
been to the bottom of every bottle  
these five words in my head  
scream "are we having fun yet?"  
yet, yet

Are we having fun yet  
_Are we having fun yet  
__Are we having fun yet.….no, no"_

Quinn, with tears streaming down her face ran from the choir room. Puck laid his guitar down and followed her "Quinn, wait," he caught up with her and hugged her, her face buried in his chest, sobs wracking her body "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry again, I'm really sorry"

"No. you're right, I'm not worth you giving your heart to, I'll break it like I break everything, ruin everything" she sobbed.

"It's too late for that Fabray, you've had my heart since freshman year, you just didn't want to take it." he smiled at her, she looked up at him blinking, "Can we work this out? I don't want to be apart from you and Beth, we should be together. I'll go to counselling with Miss Pilsbury like you wanted if it helps?" he asked hopefully.

Quinn nodded her face back in his shirt. "There's stuff we need to work out but I don't want to be apart from you either. Beth isn't sleeping well without you singing to her first, she misses her daddy" she said on a half laugh half sob.

"So? We good?" he pushed.

"Yes, we're good." Quinn smiled, "But if you ever fuck up like that again I am so hanging you up by the balls" she promised, stabbing him in the chest with her finger.

"Maybe my mom and Sarah will start talking to me again now, it's been hell for the past two weeks" Puck muttered, enclosing Quinn in his arms again.

"Try living with Judy Fabray for two weeks to find out how much of a screw up you are in life, your mother's a doll compared to her" revealed Quinn

"So that's why you're forgiving me? You can't stand living with your mother anymore? Shit! I thought it was my song and my amazing body that won you over" he joked.

"You always win me over" she said before stretching up to join their mouths, wrapping her arms round his neck, Puck's arms squeezing tight around her waist, lifting her feet off the floor. They broke apart when they heard cheering coming from behind Puck, they looked over his shoulder to find all their friends from Glee, including the teacher and the band standing in the hall way waiting…..


End file.
